You Know, I Have Something For You!
by XoMissManhattanXo
Summary: It started off with an energy chew…and a note. And then it grew into a habit, a routine, a "thing". Valerie and John's thing!
1. It Is Val, At Least After Midnight

**HELLO :)!**

**I'm new in the "Almost Human" fandom, but I've been writing on FanFiction for a while now.**

**If you like "Gossip Girl" or Minka Kelly ("Charlie's Angels"), you can check my others fics too.**

**I got inspired by Val's seductiveness and John's awkwardness. This is a series of one-shots where Val gives John something and she receives a note from him, on different occasions. Other characters will interact too, but the main focus is #Stannex.  
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**Feel free to leave me a review or a private message anytime!**

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_**Chapter 1: It's ****Val****...At Least After Midnight!**_

It started off with an energy chew…and a note. And then it grew into a habit, a routine, a "thing". Valerie and John's thing!

For days Valerie was tormented by the mental image of her, smiling wide, like a child, when John had given her that note. In all fairness, she wasn't even planning to give him the stupid energy chew that, for some odd reason, she always liked keeping in her back-pocket. When she saw him in the precinct she couldn't help but tease him. Or to "pull his leg", as he liked to put it. It was just something silly, she wanted to see if he would be just as awkward and confused face-to-face as he had been earlier on the phone when he failed to read between the lines and he decided she was actually going to give him something. Oh, there was one thing he definitely wanted from her.

John felt sick to his stomach from the cuteness overdose that day. It was the best kind of "sick" that he had ever felt. For the first few seconds he didn't even register the fact that Detective Stahl, or simply just Val, as he liked to call her as of recently and, of course, when nobody was listening in, had given him an energy chew. He appreciated the fact that she had given him _something_, for real this time, she had. The chew was warm, it must have stayed in her pocket for hours. And that pocket was dangerously close to an asset of hers that he had grown fond of. Not that he would admit it to anyone, not even to himself, but he had caught himself checking her out a few too many times.

It felt weird, like he was living in a parallel world. Normally it was the women at his workplace checking him out. Now he put himself in their shoes and he couldn't help it. There was something about Valerie…the mystery, the sass, the way she spoke back to Richard, the way she held a gun, the way she spoke, that annoying little giggle she had and the fact that no matter what was happening that girl would always smile. It was almost like she was a breath of fresh air all the way through the drama that their job required. He couldn't possibly help checking her out.

And then there was the fact that they were so much alike. Secrets, undeniably strong characters, ironic one-liners, beautiful eyes. Not that John had been keeping up a list of all the similarities, but he was well-aware of them.

Days went by and everything was normal, on the surface. But looking in closely, he could see Valerie occasionally giving him a smile or a high-five for the job well done. Maybe it was just in his imagination, maybe she had always done that and she certainly did it with a few other coworkers, but he so desperately wanted him to be the only one. He had no idea why it was so important to him. Dating was way out of his life-plan at the moment and also for the near future. The noun "feelings" was crossed out of his mental dictionary with a firm double line in a flashy red color. The only thing he would "pursue" would be a criminal, chasing him down the streets of the city. He would never pursue a girl. He never had, he never will. John Kennex could be defined as many things: stubborn, insubordinate, witty, quick-minded, uncontrollable, handsome, but he could never be defined as mellow. He blamed his one-and-only mellow action in his life - giving Valerie the note, to a moment of temporary insanity. It must have been the pressure of the case he had just closed. Or maybe it was the fact that she was teasing and he would never back off without teasing her back. Or it could very well be the fact that pony-tail Valerie was his favorite kind of Valerie and he just couldn't help being mellow around her.

A week after his sweet little moment he thought he had gained control over his craziness. They spoke, occasionally, always connected to a case. Little that he knew, Friday came around and everyone was already feeling like it was the weekend.

He went downstairs to change into his casual clothes before leaving the precinct. Walking down the hallway he saw a bright light coming out of one of the conference rooms. It felt like a déjà vu as he neared the door and saw Valerie inside, with her feet comfortably resting against the empty chair next to her, her shoes on the floor, her pony-tail still intact and the only thing that shined brighter than the light that was coming from the big screen she was looking at was her lipgloss. It was the natural color one, the one with silicone that gave extra volume to her lips, the one she used when she was wearing bright colors, such as violet, which seemed to be her favorite, or red, so she wouldn't overdo the colors and end up looking like a Christmas tree. That was usually on Monday, Wednesday and Friday. On Tuesday and Thursdays she wore white or beige, sometimes she wore pale blue, like that one shirt that John really liked, the one with the three little triangle-shaped buttons on the back that could only be noticed if she had her hair pulled up. Not that he was keeping track of Valerie's personal style or anything. He just…noticed stuff. A lot of stuff, actually.

"Uh-hum…" He cleared his throat, opening the door slowly so he wouldn't interfere with the peaceful moment that Valerie was having.

She looked away from the screen and gave him a smile. "Detective Kennex!" She greeted him as she usually did.

"What are you doing down here this late?" He hadn't been invited in, yet he took a few steps towards her.

"Had to lock up some evidence." The conversation was a throw-back to a few weeks ago when the same thing had happened. But then it had been Valerie who walked in on John's peaceful moment while watching the game. Same conference hall. Same day, Friday. Same hour. If it wasn't destiny…then it would have to be planned. Maybe she did plan this recurrence. "What's your excuse?" She used the same words, same movements from before.

"Wait…wasn't that your excuse two weeks ago?" He raised an eyebrow quizzically.

"Yup." She confirmed. "There is evidence to be locked up every day. It just so happens that the game is on TV every Friday. Blame it on the network." She put her hands up in the air, in mock surrender.

"Right…" John didn't sound convinced, but he was grateful to whatever reason it was that brought Valerie there again. "Who's playing? Mind some company?"

"Oh, my favorite team and that other team that is about to get owned big time." A grin appeared on her face. "Sure, sure." Her feet pulled away from the empty chair, making space for him to sit.

"Ahh!" The sweet feeling of sitting down after a long day of work. John could get used to that. And to Valerie sitting next to him, too.

The end of the commercial break cut off their verbal interaction. Silence followed in the room as they were both equally interested in the game. John didn't have a favorite team. He usually liked the team that was winning, so his preferences occasionally changed. But he found himself secretly cheering for Valerie's team of choice that night.

"You know…I have something for you!" Valerie finally broke the silence and without even looking at her John could tell that she had this very specific half-smirk half-smile on her face again.

"Oh, come on!" This time he wouldn't fall for the joke. It wasn't like she owed him anything. He wasn't expecting anything from her. People normally didn't care enough to give John anything, let alone the beautiful people of the world…people like Valerie.

"No, I mean it. I do." She withheld a chuckle when she saw a glimpse of John's face with that child-like hopeful expression on it.

Her hand reached out to her bag and pulled out a bottle of Bourbon with most of its content vanished already.

"It's not much, but it'll do. And sorry, I don't have the fancy glasses here. I was actually drinking from the bottle." She took a sip and passed it on to him.

"Lucky for you, Detective Stahl, I'm not squeamish." He sounded believable, firm as he spoke. Yet he seemed a little too eager to quickly grab the bottle and feel it on his lips. Coconut. Since when did Bourbon taste like coconut? He glanced over at Valerie and once again he noticed the way the light fell precisely on her lips, the glitter of her lipgloss.

"You sure you're not squeamish?" She noticed he looked somewhat confused and that he was licking his bottom lip, probably not even realizing he was doing it. "Does it taste bad? Sorry, it's warm, I've been hiding it in my bag for hours. Maldonado was on a check today and I didn't want to get busted."

"No…not at all." He replied only to the part of her question about the taste. It was Bourbon and it tasted like freaking coconut. It was awesome! For a moment he let his mind fly away to that imaginary planet in which he would lean in and kiss her, feeling the taste of Bourbon on those pretty lips of hers, lips that taste like coconut lipgloss.

Passing the bottle a few more times made time fly. Ten minutes before the game would end he spoke up.

"You know…I have something for you too!" He stood up and searched through the drawers, much like he had done when she had given him the energy chew. Another déjà vu. He only found a piece of paper and he groaned at his inability to find the second object he needed.

"A pen, maybe?" She offered, holding a pen in her hand after retrieving it from her bag, that magic bag that had everything John needed, apparently.

"Oh, yeah. Yeah, thanks!" He was _this_ close to clapping his hands like an idiot when she made it easier for him.

He leaned in and started to write something, painfully slow. Casually she also leaned in, trying to catch a glimpse of it.

"Ah!" He shook his head, covering up the paper.

"Sorry. You know I'm nosy. It's in my job description." This time she chuckled. It was a distinct sound that, in any other case, John would be annoyed to hear. It was like the silent yapping of a newborn teacup Yorkie puppy. But he liked it.

He handed her the note, but this time also the pen. She opened it carefully, wondering if it would feature the same content of the last note. If so, that would be too mellow of him. Not that she would mind.

Surprisingly, she found a different thing written down, a little scheme.

_Val's team vs. Owned team_

_John: 8 / 4_

_Val: ? / ?_

This time she laughed out loud. Could he possibly be a bigger dork? She wrote down her prediction: 6/2. She was good at analyzing and guessing things.

The game ended with 8/2, clearly in favor of Valerie's preferred team.

"Oh, come on! I'm usually…Hell, I'm _always_ right about the scores!" She whined a little. It was probably the Bourbon speaking. They had emptied the little content that was left in that bottle, in the matter of minutes.

"You still guessed half of it. I guessed the other half." In his mind this statement was supposed to make her feel somewhat better. He wasn't aware of exactly _how_ independent Valerie was and how she never liked combining power with anyone else, in order to achieve success. She was a solo player, for the most part. That was one of the reasons why she butted heads with Richard all the time, because they both wanted to have the last word.

"Yeah…" She thought about it for a moment. Screw being on your own. It felt so much better to have someone next to you, helping you, even if it was just about a stupid soccer game result. "I guess we make a good team, Detective Kennex." Surprisingly, she admitted to herself that his interference in her analytic and deductive process was not that unpleasant.

"We do." He stood up and felt a little light-headed. "And it's _John_…at least after midnight." The words just poured out of his mouth before he could realize the double meaning that was hidden in them. All he meant was that after they finish work she could call him anything she wanted to, no need for formalities. He should have never pronounced "midnight". Was that why Valerie started to blush?

"It's past midnight!?" Panic took over her voice, as if there was somewhere she had to be at this time. She jumped up from her seat and nearly fell back down on it from all the alcohol she had consumed.

"Yes. Want me to…uh, escort you home…or something?" He put his hands in his pockets, casually looking around the room. He had seen that in the movies and it usually worked well enough to keep a girl from realizing how protective the guy was of her.

"I'm a detective too, John. A damn good one, at that. I can take care of myself." She winked. He blinked at the same time, plus, it was dark now that the light of the screen was dimmed after the game ended. But he was sure she had just winked at him.

"Alright. See you on Monday, Stahl!" He waved awkwardly as he exited the room.

"Hey?" She called out in the darkness, catching his attention one last time.

"Yes?" Two of the fingers on his right hand, the one that stayed behind his body as he immediately turned around to face her, were crossed. It wouldn't be a bad thing if she would ask him to take her home after all. Just to make sure she was safe.

"It's _Val_…at least after midnight!" She chuckled again, but the weird thing was that so did John this time.

He didn't want to ruin the perfect ending of the day, the perfect line she had come up with. So he didn't say anything. He just walked out and got back home. Down the streets of the city he realized two things: he had abandoned his car in front of the precinct and he had subconsciously started walking, to ease down the strong need for fresh air. And two, his fingers were still crossed, this time hoping that Valerie would return back home safely too.

Basically, it all started with an energy chew…and a note. And then it grew into Valerie and John's _thing_!

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**Did I earn myself a "Welcome to the Almost Human fandom!" cookie? :)**


	2. I Know You Liked It

**Hi there :)!**

**I wrote this chapter extremely quickly while I'm procrastinating and hating the fact that I need to study hard for my current exam session at college! (That might not be a smart thing to say since one of my professors does have my FanFiction link, but yeah, oops!)**

**Let me know if you liked it! I played a bit, introducing Dorian and a little bit of Richard too. I wanted to try writing a more suggestive chapter, so I'd appreciate if you guys tell me how I did.**

**Good luck to all of you, fellow tortured souls, who have exams right now too!**

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_**Chapter 2: I Know You Liked It!**_

The Police Force arrived at a building in one of the not-so-elite neighborhoods of the city. An hour ago they had received an anonymous call and even though it seemed like a joke, they were still obliged to go check out for any irregularities.

Valerie was on the team and so was John. That would normally be a good thing, unless it was a Friday night and this meant that both of them would get to miss the game on TV.

Richard led the team inside, checking every floor until they reached floor six, finding blood stains on the walls. He walked in first and soon he gasped loudly.

"Triple homicide, guys." He called out and Dorian walked further in.

"Let's get started!" Valerie was just about to walk down the hallway when Richard stopped her, despite her obvious enthusiasm.

"Uh, it's better if you sit this one out, detective Stahl." He suggested, placing his hand in front of Valerie so she wouldn't be able to make another step forward.

"But I-…" She tried to protest.

"I'm in charge now." He gave her a smug smile.

"Are you taking me out of the team?" She knew he could do it, he had the power to do it. And Valerie had a problem with that.

"I wasn't going to…" Richard replied quickly. "But now that you suggest it, that doesn't seem like a bad option. Stahl, you're off the team. Go wait outside." His finger pointed towards the staircase and it made Valerie feel like an idiot. She hated taking orders from anyone, but there was nothing she could do at this moment.

John was awfully quiet throughout the verbal confrontation. He already knew that Valerie could stand up for herself and he wasn't really looking for one more reason to dislike Richard for.

When the team walked further in, everyone realized why Stahl had been taken out. It was by far the most violent murder they had dealt with. Body parts were thrown around the place and they could hear the sound of their shoes tapping against the floor that was soaked in blood. The smell was too much to take. It was cruel and it could put off the best detective in town, let alone a female one. Richard might be a douchebag for most of the time, but he didn't want to see Valerie getting nauseous at the sight of the crime-scene. Either that, or he just didn't want to deal with a squeamish girl, even though Valerie was actually a tough one.

"She could take it, you know?" John said casually, finding himself close to Richard as they kneed down, trying to figure out which body parts belonged to which victim.

"She's a girl." It was the best excuse Richard could come up with.

"You're ignorant." John replied back. Screw trying to avoid conflict. Just seeing Richard's smug face was enough to get John's blood boiling.

"And you're off the team as well." John found himself in the same situation that Valerie was in just a few minutes ago. Richard was pointing out the exit for him too.

"Just wait for the day you get assigned for a mission that I conduct!" John gritted his teeth.

It was a Friday evening, the sun was setting down and the last thing John wanted to do was to work extra hours with a man he couldn't stand. He walked out and heard a noise upstairs. With his gun held up in front of him he walked up the last two floors and, to his surprise, found Valerie trying to knock down an old wooden door.

"If that's helping with the rage against Richard, I'd suggest you move away so I can give it a try too!" He said jokingly.

"Only if you put the gun down." She turned around and smiled even though there was a gun pointed at her. "You know I don't support violence."

"Oh, I've seen you in action. You're one Hell of a fighter, detective Stahl. One would actually think you're one of those women who get a kick out of violence." Mentally he cursed himself, realizing he was still holding the gun. "Sorry, I thought the killer was trying to escape the building and I came up to check out the noise."

"Well, _one_ would be wrong about that." She stepped away, allowing John to give it a try. After the second bump against the door he managed to take it down, revealing a large view ahead of them.

"Richard is kind of hard to deal with, but beneath it all he's not that much of an asshole." Valerie whispered as she took a few steps ahead. They were on the rooftop and everything was dirty and rusty, yet somehow appealing.

A long moment of silence followed. The wind hit Valerie in all the right angles, it blew her hair out of her face and it created a nice round shape out of the blouse she was wearing. The tickling feeling made her smile.

"He actually took you out of the team so you wouldn't witness what is down there. Have you ever been sick to the point where your parents wouldn't let you go to school and then your best friend would come over and bring you a disgusting pot of tomato soup that they made themselves? Yeah, it's kind of a tomato soup on the sixth floor right now." First of all, John couldn't believe he had just told Valerie that Richard was trying to do her a favor. Second, his metaphors could use some help.

"Actually, no." For a moment Valerie frowned. Her past was something she never spoke about, with anyone. "But I get your point. Either way, I'm a big girl and I can handle blood. I've probably seen worse. It's childish of him to take me out and I'm reporting this to Maldonado!"

John sighed. She was very strong-minded. "Well, we're both out now. Let's just try and enjoy it, okay? The good news is that we're still getting paid, even if we're not exactly working."

"Fine." She shrugged, not really sounding excited. A few steps further she looked around and came up with something. "Come here!" She said with a grin, welcoming him closer to her with her hand waving in the air in anticipation.

Rooftop cliffs were not that appealing to John, but if she asked him to go there, he would.

"All I see is a building with lots of windows." He was everything but enthusiastic about it.

"Male detectives lack imagination. I knew it!" She teased. "Look closer. See there, the fourth floor."

"There's a man sitting on the sofa, so what? He's watching…aah, soccer!" Suddenly he got it.

"Right. If we figure out which team he's cheering for, we can figure out the scores too." Valerie said proudly.

"Wow, you're smart!" He could have totally thought of this too. He could have impressed her. Now he had to come up with something even better.

"Don't sound so surprised, detective Kennex! I might get offended." Her elbow crashed against the side of his left hand.

Unluckily for them, the man they were spying on turned the TV off and the living room became dark.

"Of course that would happen. Ugh, I'm so bored." If Valerie was downstairs, working on the case, she wouldn't have sounded so girly.

"We could still enjoy this. See, out there on the second floor. There's this blonde girl trying to cook in the kitchen." He pointed in that direction.

"Don't be like Richard. Just because she's blonde doesn't mean she can't cook." She attempted to defend the girl before she even saw what was going on. The blonde one seemed completely lost and ten seconds later a pan of boiling syrup crashed on the floor, causing her to jump back a few steps. "Okay, disregard my last statement. She's terrible!" Valerie couldn't help but laugh. Usually she was very sweet and empathetic, but in a state of boredom she would do anything to entertain herself.

They both looked around, trying to find something else to spy on.

"Sixth floor on the left." John spotted this one out. "Didn't know Dalmatians were so fierce." He was looking at a dog that just knocked down a child, wrestling playfully on the floor. The parents were also in the room, so it wouldn't make John a bad guy for enjoying the scene as it was clearly harmless.

Valerie was silent for a bit. When he turned to face her he noticed her eyes were looking in a different direction.

"What is it?" He tracked her stare and saw a room with dimmed lights. Someone entered that room, a female body wrapped in a towel. A man was already inside, sitting on a large bed. "Oh, this could get interesting." He muttered.

Finally, Valerie looked at him for a second. Her face seemed normal, apart from the smirk she was clearly trying to wipe away.

A moment later they saw the girl dropping down the towel and nearing the bed. John felt a bit uncomfortable, yet Valerie didn't seem to be bothered. Her eyes were firmly glued to the window.

"You think they're married?" She asked suddenly.

"Nah. What kind of a wife surprises her husband like that?" He sounded negative, as if his whole vision on life and marriage was a joke.

"I guess some do. Or maybe she's his mistress. Look, this room is tiny…maybe they rent it so they can meet up when his wife is out of town." Her enthusiasm was catchy and he expanded on her theory.

"Right…or he could be her boss." It was getting more and more awkward for him to do this, but in a very twisted way he actually enjoyed it.

"I don't think so. Look at how she pushed him on the bed. She's the one in charge. Maybe she's the married one and he's her boy-toy. By the body language you could tell he's the submissive one." Valerie continued until something else happened. "Oh, alright, he's definitely the submissive one!" She laughed, seeing the shades of handcuffs in the woman's hands.

"We should, ermm…probably check in on the others…" He cleared his throat, leaning back as if he was about to walk away.

"Oh, come on. It's about to get interesting. Would you rather be down there, taking more assaults from Richard?" He didn't know why, but Valerie had this weird way of convincing him. He felt like he was the submissive one and this had to change.

"No. Honestly I would rather be the one assaulting Richard. Physically." Oh, John was enjoying his feud with Richard.

Valerie didn't expand on the topic. It was useless. Both of the guys were stubborn and she wasn't exactly a fairy who could turn them into best friends overnight.

"You go, girl!" She cheered after a few more minutes of silence. While her eyes were locked with the window, John's eyes paid more attention to Valerie than the view in front of them. It was blurry anyway. If he would watch someone getting some action, he'd prefer doing it on a large screen with high resolution. Not that he would admit to having that habit, anyway.

"Damn it, Valerie! You're enjoying this, aren't you?" He couldn't hold it anymore, a huge smile appeared on his lips. The girl seemed so into it, no other girl John knew would be so comfortable in this situation.

"Duh. Look at her, she's totally in control!" There was something Valerie wasn't admitting, not even to herself. She loved the idea of a powerful woman. She had always strived to be one, too. It wasn't this much the sexual aspect of what she was seeing, but rather the powerful one that drew her attention.

"We're stalkers. It's official." John shook his head, pretending to be ashamed. In fact, he was kind of glad to be spending some quality time with her, doing something unusual. Mundane things bored him.

"Lurkers. I believe that's a more accurate term. Shameless lurkers. Yes!" Once again she looked at him and before she could open her mouth to say another word they both heard their phones go off.

"Richard…" John said through gritted teeth, reading the message he had received. "They're done, we need to go back to the precinct."

"Well, that's too bad. We'll miss the grand finale." She pouted.

"If that's upsetting you this much, you can come over to my place and choose the movie yourself. I have a huge sofa…and pop-corn." He only half-joked. Did he really just ask Valerie to watch an adult movie with him? What was wrong with him?

"Very funny, Detective Kennex." She slapped his shoulder, suddenly returning to her prim and proper police officer image. "Let's go before they leave us behind. Public transport isn't my thing." She figured it wouldn't be a good idea to reply to his obvious suggestion, so she ignored it. "One more thing…not a word about this. To anyone! You hear me?"

"Huh, what? You said something?" John pretended to have spaced out when in fact he heard her loud and clear and she knew it.

The team quickly reached the precinct and Dorian couldn't help but notice something was going on with John. First, there was this weird silence around him. And second, Dorian secretly made a body scan to check out what was wrong.

"Why so…ehm…" Dorian approached John, looking directly to the middle of his body.

"I swear if you make a comment about my balls one more time I'll throw you off a cliff and watch you fall down miserably!" John raised his hand in the air, as if to stop Dorian from speaking. It didn't really work out well in his favor.

"Relax! I wasn't going to say that. I just wanted to point out the obvious...things seem to be, ehm, elevated..." Dorian kept staring at the zipper of John's pants, making him shift uncomfortably, trying to hide the, as Dorian put it into words, _the obvious_.

"Dorian!" He grunted angrily. It was his last threat before he would attack.

"Dude, I meant your spirit. It's elevated. Jesus!" The DRN rolled his eyes, keeping a smile on his face.

"Yeah, Hell right, you meant that!" If there was one thing John hated more than Richard, it was to be made a fool of. And Dorian seemed to be doing a pretty good job at it.

Ten minutes later Dorian was at his desk, trying to put down all the pieces of information they had found on the victims at the crime scene. But his mind was elsewhere. He couldn't concentrate even when he commanded himself to do so.

"So what got your...eh, spirit lifted?" He brought it up one more time, seeing as John was sitting next to him, bored since he wasn't part of the operation.

"Remember the day I told you to download a bunch of useful dirty jokes?" John wasn't exactly taking a trip down Memory Lane. He wanted to prove a point.

"Yes. November 14." His partner said in the dorkiest way. To him this was nothing more but a straight question.

"Forget it!" John's sarcasm showed Dorian that they were speaking metaphorically. "And delete the files!" He commanded. It had been fun hearing Dorian randomly say something dirty to someone during a mission, but once the jokes turned against John, often they were connected to Valerie too, it started to bother him.

Dorian frowned, he had crossed the line this time. "Really, what's up with you?" He tried to make up for his directness.

However, John read something else underneath the question. He pulled Dorian up and kicked him between the legs, not sure if he would feel the pain, at least not like a human would.

"Ah, sorry! No pun intended!" Dorian put his hands in the air mockingly. "Unlike you, I'd like to preserve my genitals. I might need them someday...unlike you..." If only he could keep his mouth shut, John would probably be a little less of a nerve-ball at work.

John tried to hit him again, but this time he got stopped mid-way.

"It's Detective Stahl, isn't it? What did she do to you this time? Last I saw you two together was when you walked to the roof with her earlier." Dorian didn't actually _see_ them. It was more like he scanned the building for heat signals and then he saw Valerie and John's names, both written on top of the building. Dorian had a pretty reliable GPS tracking system integrated in his memory.

"None of your business." John busied himself reading an old case file, just so he could avoid any further talk with his partner. He wasn't far from wanting to destroy him.

"Your blood is boiling now. My statistics show that in 90 percent of the situations those symptoms occur after a sexual act. Is that right?" He leaned away as he spoke, hoping someone would overhear. Dorian took it as his secondary job to humiliate John in public. Or at least to make him feel extremely uncomfortable, especially when Valerie would be around.

"I don't have _symptoms_, I'm not sick." John changed the topic. Playing stupid might get him out of explaining what had happened.

"But still...you had sex with her!?" Dorian sounded more and more like a robot, programmed to repeat the same annoying thing, over and over again.

"No! We watched other people having sex. There! Happy now!? Back off, I've got work to do." John's outburst came out of nowhere. He knew Dorian would analyze that too and he wouldn't back off until John would give him an honest answer. However, he failed at keeping his voice down. Two policemen walked by and gave him a strange look.

Dorian was left shocked, standing still, just like that one time when he had been shot and his system shut down for an hour.

"That's not how I mean it! We just happened to be there and we happened to have noticed it." John's hand waved in the air in a dismissive way, diminishing what he had already shared with Dorian.

"Uh-huh. Did you also happen to continue watching?" He teased. After getting hit once, Dorian wasn't that afraid of John. At least he knew he wouldn't dare to kill him in the precinct. Probably.

"Get out of my sight. Right now!" John kicked Dorian's chair and it scrolled almost halfway through the room.

"Or…I can just go and ask her..." Dorian called out, enjoying the slide like a little child. He knew that would aggravate John even more.

"I know where you live, Dorian! I swear-…" John's threat got cut off as he saw Dorian's chair bumping against Valerie's desk. She had just returned to her station to prepare for her next mission and, luckily for John, she hadn't heard his outburst a minute ago.

"Oh, see who it is! Detective Stahl…" Dorian imitated John's voice when pronouncing her name. She noticed it, but she didn't give any signs of irritation.

"Aren't you supposed to be working on your report, Dorian?" She said sweetly.

He almost felt guilty for teasing her as well. Almost. He still did it anyway.

"Yes, I was in the middle of writing that when John kicked me out. He's a little…ehm, _touchy_, for some reason." Dorian smirked.

"Uh, Dorian…don't get me wrong…but you're still here. I need to do my job. And so do you." Valerie pointed out after a minute of awkward silence while Dorian made himself comfortable at her desk.

"Sorry. I'm going to write that report now." He looked up at her innocently. "You can come watch, if you want. Although, it's not that, ehm, stimulating."

"What!?" Valerie was just taking a sip of water when it hit her: John had told Dorian. She blushed profoundly and the only thing she muttered while she walked away was: "I'm going to kill him!"

As she suspected, John had made a run for it, hiding in the lunch break area, even though it was late in the evening already.

"You know…I have something for you!" She sounded angry as she walked in and stood right in front of him.

"I'm not sure I deserve it…" John looked away. If she was angry that would only mean that Dorian had somehow screwed up again.

"Oh, you deserve it. Trust me!" She elbowed him, this time forcefully. After a loud grunt from John, she continued. "I told you not to tell anyone!"

"He figured it out. He's smart!" His excuse was lame and he knew it. "Damn, I thought you said you don't support violence!" His hand rubbed the part of his body where her elbow had hit. She was strong and her aim was great. John felt his whole left side paralyzed for a moment.

"Either way, you shouldn't have confirmed. It wasn't that big of a deal anyway. We were just bored. In fact, it was stupid and the only reason why I watched was because I didn't want to go downstairs and kick Richard's ass myself!" Her excuse was even lamer and it gave John an idea.

"Well, you know…I have something for you too!" Out of his back pocket he pulled out a brand new pack of sticky notes. Purple, because he figured she liked this color. She wore it at least once a week, usually on a Wednesday. Not that he was keeping track.

While he wrote down something, she couldn't help but wonder if he really did the effort to go out and buy this thing. It was a Friday night. Twice, on that occasion, they had watched the game together. Was he trying to make it a _thing_, giving her hand-written notes? Although, this time she definitely expected an angry one-liner to be written down, rather than a corny statement.

_"I know you liked it ;)!"_

As much as she was mad at him, reading those words made her laugh. John had a way of annoying her and then making her smile right after that. He wasn't like the most guys Val had ever met. He was genuine and he was straight-forward. If he hated something, he'd let her know. He didn't lie to her face. For the little time that she knew him she already felt like she could trust him. He was sarcastic and a little too forward sometimes, but that was precisely why Valerie liked being around him so much. She had a few surprises of her own, regarding her character. So far it seemed like they were bonding quite well and she finally felt like she belonged to the precinct, rather than just walking around and being perceived just like the pretty girl in the office. She felt worthy and smart. He made her feel this way. Plus, he gave her hand-written notes. It was definitely turning into their _thing_!


	3. That Is Not How It Goes

**HEYA :)!**

**This chapter follows up on "R"s review. He/she raised a valid point and I wanted to explain further what MY vision was when I wrote chapter 2 :)!  
**

**I like Richard's character, generally I like the troubled ones. I feel like he has a lot of potential and I'm trying to (very subtly!) show a side of his character that I believe he owns, but he keeps hidden under a smug smile.**

**There is a side of John that comes out too. I like it when a strong character confesses something. Nobody is perfect!**

**And Valerie kicks ass in a smart way!**

**Let me know if the explanation of WHY things happened in the previous chapter (and how Valerie handles it all) was okay for ya'll?**

**PS: OMG, I HAVE A READER FROM PUERTO RICO! HOLAAA! My celeb-crush (Ramon Rodriguez) is from Puerto Rico! I'd love to talk to my reader, so PLEASE whoever you are, just message me or write a review so I can meet you. I think Puerto Rico is the most beautiful/sexy place ever!**

**Thank you all for the wonderful reviews!**

* * *

_**Chapter 3: That's Not How It Goes**_

The night after she got bounced out of Richard's case, Valerie had troubles falling asleep. The range of emotions she had that day – from anger all the way up to excitement, had managed to blur out what was acceptable and what wasn't.

In her daily life and, most importantly, in her job, she liked to do everything possible so she could be perceived as a powerful woman. Yet that day she had stepped down in front of not one, but _two_ men. To Richard she couldn't say a word since he was in charge. But to John she could have spoken back. Instead, she let a little note and a smile turn her mood all around. That was not a powerful woman. That was a confused little girl. And Valerie was definitely not it. Not anymore.

When her eyes finally closed and she dozed off, in her dream she saw the images of all the people who had traded her in her life. She remembered concrete details about every scene. The last image she saw was John's face.

The alarm clock rudely took that dream away from her and as she rubbed her eyes lazily she realized she had to do something about the way she had been treated.

In the precinct the shifts had changed. It was an early Saturday morning and Valerie was supposed to have the day off. Instead, she walked right in and found her way to the Captain's office.

"Detective Stahl, I thought it was your day off…" Sandra eyed the girl up and down and as much as she knew how to read people all she could read in Valerie at that moment was rage. It was not a thing that could normally describe Valerie's character.

"And I thought yesterday was my day to work. Instead, I've been mistreated and unfairly benched during a mission which I was fully able to work on. I've had the same training that the guys had. I'm better with my gun aim than most of the guys. And I'm a kick ass driver. Plus, I've worked homicides for months and I've never once failed at the job, both as a detective and as a criminal data analyst. Especially not due to the fact that I am a female. So to be told to stand down, in front of the whole team, was purely personal, it was offensive and beyond unacceptable. With all due respect, Captain Maldonado, I demand an explanation from Richard and I demand it to happen right now and right here, in front of you. I want a real reason, not just some silly one-liner he would come up with if I confront him in private. He might have controlled the mission, but he does not control _me_. If I was put on that team in the first place, that must mean I'm good enough for it. Not to mention, there were other people on the team who could have possibly used the help of another human detective on board. There is absolutely no way I would let this go until and unless I get Richard to take full responsibility for treating me unfairly and non-equally, presumably because of my gender!" Valerie blurted out. It sounded as if she had rehearsed the speech over and over again, but the truth was that words just poured out of her mouth spontaneously.

"Detective Richard Paul…report to my office, please?" Captain Maldonado said on the loudspeaker. By the tone she used everyone must have understood the guy was in trouble.

Two minutes later he walked in and wasn't surprised to see Valerie there too.

"You, of course!" He smirked. "What happened…little girl couldn't fight her own battles, so she asked for the Captain's help?"

"First of all, you are extremely stupid to be such a sexist when, in fact, the Captain is also a woman. And second, I demand an explanation about yesterday!" Valerie leaned against the desk, piercing him with her eyes.

"Detective Paul, you are going to reply to this question. I do not approve, nor agree, with the way you took Detective Stahl off the team. You do realize this leads to a penalty, right?" The Captain stayed in the middle of the room, not choosing a field, not taking anyone's side. She had her own opinion about what had happened.

It took Richard a few seconds to come up with a reply and it turned out to be one that didn't please the women in front of him. "I did it because Valerie wasn't suitable for the mission and I only realized it when I walked in and saw what we were dealing with."

"Not suitable!? Are you out of your mind!?" Valerie spoke quietly, she wasn't losing her temper, yet it was more than clear how angry she was. "Have you read my file? Have you ever been on a mission with me? How dare you be the judge of what I can and what I cannot handle!?"

"You're going to have to be a little more specific than this." Maldonado requested.

Richard once again stayed quiet, this time for longer. He walked to the Captain's computer and opened his file report from last night. He had sent it in late and since they all just got to their work stations in the morning it was safe to assume nobody had read it yet.

"If you have seen that you wouldn't be interrogating me." He grunted in annoyance.

Valerie leaned in and read the first few lines. There was nothing that she couldn't handle. Richard saved everyone some time, highlighting a specific part of his report: the names of the victims that they had successfully identified.

Reading the third name made Valerie freeze.

"Feeling stupid right now?" Richard said smugly.

"That still doesn't make me incompatible for the job." Her attempt to defend herself was valid.

"What am I missing here?" Maldonado looked over the list, not recognizing any of the names.

"Uh, the third one. He was my friend, outside of work. Richard met him a few weeks ago, we were out in the city one night and I introduced them. We uh, me and this guy, we used to hang out and watch the game together sometimes at that small sports bar in the center. His uncle owns it. He is…uh, he _was_ a good guy." Valerie explained shortly, her tone of voice showing that she was, indeed, emotionally influenced by the revelation. And, of course, Richard used it to his advantage.

"See? What is the most important thing about the team that works on a mission? Not being emotionally connected to any aspect of the mission!" His work there was done. It was, indeed, a rule that had gotten other people left out of certain missions before. It also proved to be not really against Valerie being a girl, but the fact that she was, supposedly, not going to be rational and objective during the inspection. It was standard police protocol that Richard had been following when she eliminated her from his team. There was one more reason why he did it, but given its personal character, Richard wouldn't even dare mentioning it. He would rather be seen as the asshole.

"Thank you, Detective Paul. You can go now." The Captain let him go and turned to Valerie.

"It's not fair. I don't care about the rule. I have never let emotions get in the way of my work and you know it." Valerie pushed her hair behind her ears nervously. Deep down inside she knew it would have sucked seeing her friend on the floor, missing body parts and covered in blood. She also knew that she would have handled it anyway. But whining about it was useless now, seeing as it was done and finished already.

"I can see a valid point in both of your statements. I believe the best solution would be to separate you for a while. You should work in different teams, it will help get the tension off the air." Sandra suggested, placing her hand on Valerie's arm in sign of support. Little that she knew, Valerie didn't need anyone's pity. She shrugged away before she responded.

"No. That would only make me the whiny little girl who went to the Captain and it would mean Richard was right. I refuse to give him that satisfaction. I actually want to be put on his team as regularly as possible. I want him to see me thrive at my job, like I always have. I want to prove him wrong and I want to enjoy watching him squirm while I take all the applause for the job well done!" Determination oozed from her voice and there was that well-known sparkle in her eyes. Valerie was famous for putting an objective and then achieving her goal. She never gave up on anything. Whenever a mission seemed impossible, Valerie would stay up all night, thinking of ways to resolve it. That was one of her qualities that Sandra admired the most.

"Okay. Now calm down and go home. It's your day off." She smiled, thinking her orders would be respected.

"I request permission to work full-time today?" Valerie looked up at Sandra. "I want to go down there and solve whatever problem it is that Richard is trying to fix." From the big window she focused on Richard, sitting on his desk and nervously re-reading a few pieces of paper, as if he was trying to figure something out.

"Permission granted." Sandra sighed. Sometimes Valerie could have her way, no matter what. Plus, she was coming from a good place. All she wanted to do was to show Richard how professional she was and how she would rather face him and make him have no other choice but to recognize her abilities.

Valerie changed into her work clothes and joined the guys in the hall. She busied herself reading up on the case that they were preparing for and she managed to come up with some spot-on assumptions about the location and the identity of the people they would need to track down. There was nothing unusual about her behavior, she didn't act like a bitch. All she did was to do her job and she was doing it well. Richard glanced over at her a few times, his lips pursing at the fact that she was willingly giving up on her day off, just to help out.

Right in time for lunch break the team was ready with instructions and they had built a steady game-plan. The androids remained on stand-by, some of them went back to their stations to recharge, while the humans gathered around, waiting for pizza delivery.

Valerie wasn't hungry. She let the guys share her lunch portion while she went over the plan again, isolating herself in a private area so she could concentrate better. With the corner of her eye she could see Detective Kennex walking over.

"I heard Richard complaining about how you made Maldonado ask him into her office. How did that go?" He initiated a conversation in the worst possible way. In his mind they were okay, having separated last night on good terms. He had no idea how eye-opening her dream last night had been.

"Richard blabbing about me, or anyone else, is completely expected behavior." She replied flatly while still reading the files. Then she put them down and looked at Kennex seriously. "You, however…" That same second he got it: she was actually upset that he had told Dorian what happened.

"If it helps, I erased that from Dorian's memory, and the two other Androids who walked by and might have overheard. So it's once again just between you and me." He sounded convinced that it was helping.

"You don't get it, do you?" Her head shook from left to right. There was no smile. She seemed upset, no matter how hard she was trying to hide that emotion under a straight face. "I shared this moment with you and I asked you not to tell anyone. And then you ruined it. All I feel right now is shame that I did that thing and regret that I ever trusted you with it."

"Val, come on. It's harmless and Dorian doesn't even remember it anymore…" John called out, watching her walk away.

"It's not about the _thing_. It's the principals. The trust." She barely turned around as she replied. "And it's Detective Stahl for you. We're at work. Respect at least _that_ fact."

It was the moment John realized he had screwed up majorly with her. If he had screwed up with work he would go home, drink a beer and watch TV without really being bothered about it. But this was Valerie and somehow, weirdly, it felt different.

The team left the building right after lunch. Valerie turned out to be right about the possible location. Dorian scanned the building that was now surrounded by police cars, finding heat signals all over the first floor. Everyone split, taking over a different entrance of the place and agreeing to meet up in the center, a huge hall where most of the heat was coming from. The plan was to block and concur.

Valerie got to run with John, Dorian and Richard. Her MX was not fully functional so she was on her own in this and she had to work with the humans around her, even though she was on the outs with both of them.

"I secure the perimeter. Dorian, you scan for company. Richard, take the left side of that door. Valerie, standby." John commanded, claiming himself the leader of their mini team.

Valerie hissed quietly. Standby? Doing nothing was not why she gave up her only day off.

"We attack on 5. I'll have your back. You go in and take out the bad guys. Okay?" John continued speaking silently.

Valerie looked around and found nothing disturbing. Dorian informed them about five armed men near the door and suggested going in with Valerie and Richard, to help neutralize the enemy faster.

"Okay. Here we go…One…two…" John started counting after receiving confirmation that the other mini teams were ready to take down the other two entrances of the hall.

"Three…" John continued, checking out if both Richard and Valerie were on position.

Before he could pronounce "four", Valerie stood up, knocked the door down and ran ahead. John was in no way ready to cover up for her when the enemies started to shoot. He assumed she did it because she was upset with him earlier. But in reality, she had another reason.

"Sometimes I just don't get how she survives all that…" Richard shook his head and a second later he was running after Valerie, covering up for her, followed by Dorian. John stayed by the door, making sure nobody else could walk in and disturb their operation.

The moment Valerie chose to create chaos was perfect. She had barged in earlier than planned, as from her angle she was able to see through the tiny window of the door. Those men had a hostage, a teenage boy. She had seen how one of the guys reloaded his gun and was getting ready to shoot the boy. Not having time to explain to her teammates what was going on, Valerie acted on impulse and jumped right in. Both Richard and John realized that a few seconds later.

"Drop the weapon and let the boy go." Valerie called out, pointing a gun at the man holding the hostage while the other bad guys were holding their guns pointed at her.

"Cops! Leave the building. Now!" One of the guys said on the intercom. He had no idea that he just sent his people running right into the hands of the other teams that were waiting on every exit. That made it much easier for everyone. However, Valerie was not in a very comfortable position.

"What are you gonna do, Barbie? You gonna shoot me?" The guy looked her up and down. She seemed tiny and fragile. Wasn't that the stereotype for any girl? Her calm facial expressions and her warm hazel eyes didn't help to build a very scary aura around her either.

"You don't know what I'm capable of. Step back and give us the boy!" She yelled out this time, feeling how the rest of the enemies were coming closer to her.

"Not a step further!" John called out, switching his gun aim between two of the guys while Richard and Dorian had the other two. He had walked in after making sure there was nobody else outside and that his presence would actually be of help on the inside.

The man slowly walked towards Valerie, showing signs that he would give her the boy and surrender. He put his gun up, not pointing at her anymore. But the moment he was close enough he pushed the boy away and pulled Valerie towards him. His gun pressed against the side of her head and John saw the wince she made from the sudden pain.

"You wanted the boy, you got the boy. Now put your guns down and your little trophy girl doesn't get hurt." The enemy guy turned it all in his favor.

"He's bluffing. He's surrounded, he has nowhere to go. Valerie is his only leverage. He won't hurt her." Richard whispered to John, joining his side and focusing on that man, leaving Dorian to deal with the rest of them.

John took a step forward, thinking the man would back away. His idea was to back him off to the wall that was close behind his back. The commotion would give Valerie a second to fight her way out and to disarm the man. However, his plan didn't work out.

"One more step and you get to see her brain on the floor." He threatened, once again pressing the gun tightly against her head.

"John, be wise about this. Let him go. She can handle this." As much as John hated to admit it, Richard's suggestion was the only valid one in their case.

The man waited a few more seconds, watching John and Richard put their guns down. When it was safe for him he took off, dragging Valerie along with him. That same moment Dorian took down two of the bad guys, leaving the others to his teammates. By the looks of it they were just pawns in the game. They had to be disposable if this other guy left willingly, leaving them behind. It also meant that they had no valuable information to share since he hadn't been bothered by the fact that they might be captured and interrogated. So the policemen wasted no more time around there. They grabbed their guns from the floor and warned the others on the intercom about the fugitive holding Valerie hostage. Being wise about it, the guys gave them a little bit of time to walk away, thinking they weren't being followed.

As expected, Valerie found her chance to save herself. When they stopped in front of a huge metal wall and the man searched for his electronic card to open it with, Valerie attacked ruthlessly. It really wasn't wise of him to drag her along without even trying to tame her down with handcuffs, at least. She used her hands wisely, punching her fists at him as he fought back.

John heard noises down the corridor. "Stahl!?" He called out, immediately leading the others towards her.

"Second door to the left!" She replied, loud enough to be heard. It didn't break her focus while fighting the bad guy, though.

By the time her reinforcement came, she was sitting on top of the guy, laid on his stomach, with his face against the pavement. She grabbed the handcuffs that were hanging from her belt and she locked him good. She not only managed to capture him alive, but he was clearly conscious enough to be interrogated immediately as they would return to the police station.

"Good job, Stahl!" Richard raised an eyebrow, checking out the damage on the man. One eyebrow was leaking blood and his mouth missed one tooth. Other than that he was good to go. It required lots of strength and fighting technique to get the job done so precisely.

"Took you long enough to say it!" Valerie said proudly, allowing Richard to grab the guy from the floor.

Dorian took the man to the police car, followed by the others. Richard walked close behind, talking on the intercom with the other team members. John was delayed, noticing Valerie's troubles to stand up. He extended his hand to her, but she refused to take it. Instead, she leaned against the metal door, pushing herself up with difficulty.

"You're hurt. Let me help you." John offered once again, but it only served to have him shut off again.

"I wouldn't need help if I was a guy." She was well aware that those words were intended for Richard, but she had to say it out loud anyway, to get it off her chest.

If John knew one thing about Valerie by now, it was that she was independent. He let her walk to the car on her own since that was what she wanted. However, he was ready to catch her in any given moment, in case she would stumble.

Back in the precinct they were received by loud applause. John hated that moment and unluckily for him it happened way too often. It was supposed to make someone feel like a hero, but a hero was not something John ever saw himself as.

Valerie winced at the loudness of all the chatter that she had walked right into. Dorian accompanied her to the medical office for a check.

"If I may, you seem a little tense. Your body language had been defensive all day long. And I don't think it was my breath that kept you so distant from me all day." He had a way of being very sweet. Valerie couldn't possibly shut him off too, especially now that his memory of yesterday's talk had been erased.

"I'm just focused on work. I didn't mean to avoid you on purpose. You shouldn't feel that way." She smiled at him as he laid her on the table, waiting for the doctor to check her out.

"There's a little fracture on a bone on her right foot. And a punch spot that hurts on the left side of her body, just above the hip. No signs of head trauma." Dorian told the doctor, scanning Valerie on his own. He didn't trust medicine all that much. He trusted himself a whole lot more.

"Thank you. Now wait outside." Medics around the precinct were known for their short temper when it came to the androids. They were secretly jealous of the fact that someone didn't have to study theory for years. All they needed was the right kind of software upgrade and they could do a doctor's job just as good, but in less time.

Half an hour later Valerie walked out with a bandage around her ankle and a little spot on her head that was slowly turning purple. It was where the gun had hit her twice. But the only pain she felt was when she walked, the pressure of her body weight on her leg was making her wince every now and then.

She found Richard waiting for her at her work place in the common room. He pulled out the chair for her to sit down on and then he leaned against her desk.

"Look, I know you don't like any kind of preferential treatment." He started to speak and she was painfully aware that he would struggle finding the right words to apologize without sounding nice about it.

"You don't know what I like, Richard." She made it a little harder for him.

"True." He confirmed, looking down at her. "But I know what you _don't_ like. I've worked with you for a while now and one of the little things I know about you is that the last thing you would like to see is another person close to you being dead."

His words hit right where they had to. She thought for a long moment, letting his statement sink in. Just as Richard wouldn't come out and say that he was sorry, Valerie wouldn't formally admit that, up to a point, it hadn't been such a bad thing that she was off the team.

"Richard?" Someone called for him to come over. Saved by an MX.

"For the record, it was totally not okay to bench me based on the presumption that I wouldn't be able to handle the case!" Valerie managed to say while she still kept eye contact with Richard. After that he turned around and walked a few steps away.

"Off the record…" She continued and he turned around curiously. "I'm kind of glad I didn't see it." Her eyes looked down. When she had learned the identity of the victim earlier, all she could think about was that it would have sucked to have been there. Her mind wouldn't change, she still felt like it was unfair to be treated like an exception from the team. But deep down inside, following up on previous events in her life, she was okay with having to sit this one out.

Richard nodded at her because smiling would hurt his ego more than he could imagine.

Valerie started writing her report, trying to explain it very well _why_ she had to act before her team was ready to follow.

An hour later the shift was officially over. She walked to the room where she had left her casual clothes this morning. All she wanted was to change, go home, take a shower, curl up in bed and be lazy.

"Please tell me you have something for me." John's voice met her in the hallway, right in front of the room with her locker.

"Why?" Keeping it short and casual, Valerie knew that guys hate it when girls do that.

"Because I want to give you a note." He explained, holding the purple sticky notes block in his left hand, but one note was already in his right hand, waiting.

"You can give me a note without me giving you something first." She leaned against the wall, feeling tired and her foot was starting to swell a little bit.

"That is _not_ how it goes…" He sounded like a silly nerd, obsessed with the order of things.

"Fine. You know, I actually _do_ have something for you." She searched through the bag on her shoulder, handing him a cell phone.

"That's _my_ phone…" John sounded both surprised and disappointed.

"I know. You dropped it earlier when we were on the mission." Short and casual again.

"You're really pissed off at me, aren't you?" This time he avoided eye contact.

"Pissed off, no. Disappointed, yes." Very short and absolutely casual.

It was time for John to strike. He handed her the note that he had previously prepared.

She expected something along the lines of a "Sorry" or some sort of an excuse in a few words. Instead, she read: _"Mind if I tell you a long (and sob) story?"_

Doubtfully, she looked up at him and nodded in agreement.

"A few years ago I worked with this guy. We were the kind of friends who would grab a beer after work, tell each other stuff. We even had our own silly handshake. I have to say, that was a while ago. I was still young and immature…" He started off roughly and unsure. John wasn't much of a guy who would make long speeches. He only decided to share this with her because he had ruined her trust and she deserved to know the reason why.

"I see that hasn't changed." Valerie smirked, toying with him about being immature.

"One day he didn't report to work. And then he was missing for a week. When he came back it was as if nothing had happened. He told everyone he went on a cruise, but I know he wasn't a big fan of the water. I noticed he wasn't eating much and he lost some weight. When I finally asked him about it, he told me a secret. He made me promise not to tell anyone…" There was something about the way John spoke that showed Valerie that this would turn out to be a bad thing.

"I kept my mouth shut and everything seemed to be normal again. Until one day we were out on the field and we had to run and save our lives. We had been surrounded by three times the men count, with heavier gun load than ours. It was either surrender or run. So we ran. He was on the intercom with me, he said he was close behind me. When I reached the car he was nowhere to be seen. My team drove away and I stayed on the field, hiding until the shootings stopped. When I got back there I found his body all the way back to where we started to run from. He hadn't even moved. He lied to me, to all of us. He wanted us to leave him behind and to save ourselves." John started to speak slower, nearing the end of his story.

"Why?" Valerie didn't mean to sound nosy. She just really wanted to know what happened.

"I took his body back to the police office. The autopsy showed that he died from a heart failure. And only after that he had been shot." He wrapped it up quickly, letting Valerie use her intelligence to figure it all out.

"Oh…" It was a tone beyond a whisper. "So, he told you that he had heart problems and he didn't want to quit his job because of it? That was why you had to promise not to tell anyone…"

John nodded.

"And then you blamed yourself for what happened to him…thinking he would still be alive if you had broken your promise?" She kept on guessing.

He nodded one more time. "You see…after that I've never really been good with keeping secrets. I find them to be a useless burden. I've disappointed people on more than one occasion, randomly blurting out something they told me in private."

"It wasn't your fault, John." She wanted to hate him for ruining the trust between them, but she felt like she actually hated herself more at that moment, for being so understanding of where John was coming from when the words had rolled out of his mouth. The context was completely different, but a person had little to do in order to fight their psychological issues sometimes.

"My point is, I'm sorry." Finally he said it. Richard had failed on pronouncing those words earlier. Valerie wasn't sure he even learned how to properly use them in a sentence since she had never heard him say such a thing. But John manned up and apologized to her face after giving her a valid explanation. Yes, it was a sob story, but she had been warned about it.

This time she nodded. It was starting to feel uncomfortable so she just smiled and walked in the room to change and go home. She had a few perks of her character that were driven by things that happened in her past. Listening to John's story helped her understand him a little more. He was tormented soul, but he was a strong soldier. He was like those teenage boys in all of the American movies, the kind of guy who would be totally popular in school and he would seem perfect, or in John's case: a strong cop, but deep down inside he was made of the same "ingredients" as everyone else – a body, a head, arms, legs and…a heart.

That day Valerie learned a lesson. She didn't need to let go of her anger in a public way. All she had to do was face the problem and try to resolve it in a civilized manner. If she had managed to do that with Richard, finally somehow reaching a compromise about their preferential treatment argument, then she could do it with anyone else. Betrayal didn't sit well with her either. Yet, she couldn't help but let her empathy show her that it wasn't betrayal that John did to her, it was something he was struggling to deal with. Secrets. Valerie disliked those as well. Weirdly, though…she was keeping a few of those to herself. That added to the list of reasons why she decided to not be upset with John any longer.

A note, as symbolic as it was, had all the power to connect and re-connect people. On her way back home Valerie smiled, realizing that John now had a whole bunch of notes, waiting to be used. Valerie didn't trust too many people in her life. However, she chose to trust John, especially after he had trusted her with a personal story from his past. And, of course, she was still unable to get over the fact that he was so focused on making hand-written notes their _thing_!


End file.
